Why Loving Yourself in the Right Way is Essential
Do you have a feeling you would be happier if only… (you lost those 10 extra kilograms or had some part of your body surgically improved or found that “soulmate”, etc.)? Would fulfilling all the desired changes make you complete and fulfilled?
Looks like we were all raised by our families and society that happiness comes from the outside. All that we are is not good enough in itself and our imperfections can only be mended if certain outer conditions were met.
Even though there is nothing wrong with the self-improvement attitude, there is one very important aspect which is the starting point: How much do we love ourselves the way we are at the moment and are we satisfied with what we already have?
The meaning of “loving myself the way I am”
Our minds should have a firm foundation of who we are. This means being aware of what our drawbacks and virtues are at this very moment and accepting all of them. Drawbacks should serve as an opportunity to learn from them and be an incentive to develop, and not be a reason for our chronic unhappiness and self-hate. This way we will firmly accept ourselves the way we are (i.e. love ourselves completely) and our lives will be filled with opportunities to self-development. We will see everything as an incentive and not as a drag.
So, everything starts with a solid foundation – accepting absolutely everything about us at the moment. We start from here so that we can increase our virtues and change our flaws.
If we don’t love ourselves properly, we will lose a lot of energy because our focus will always be on our flaws. Negative thinking, especially about ourselves, only serves as a thief since it steals our energy that can be used for something useful.
“I think I am ugly and stupid”
The above statement is the worst possible self-loathing state of mind one might have. Probably most of the human beings have gone through this phase some time in their lives because with all the challenges of modern times (aggressive work competitions, beauty standards, etc.) we can’t help sometimes but getting the feeling of being inadequate.
Again, if you get these thoughts in your head it means your mind was influenced by outer conditions and you lost the connection to your true self.
Needless to say, standards of beauty and intelligence are constantly changing. It is getting harder to be realistic about ourselves and remain positive toward who we are. The only thing we owe to ourselves at any given time is to love and accept ourselves exactly the way we are, even though we might not fulfill all the standards of the modern world. And the truth be told, there is a far greater number of imperfect, not so beautiful and not so smart people out there than the other kind. All those famous stars, are they showing their natural looks or is there a lot of make-up and photoshopping? Try to be realistic about what you see and hear.
The key point to this post is to initiate broader thinking, outside the boxes and beyond imposed standards. Human beings are imperfect. That is the beauty of us all and because of it, we are unique. We can improve and change because we are given an incredible tool called a conscious mind and with it, we can create, multiply and change. And we don’t have to be perfect because no one is, we just have to be perfectly aware of that so that we can work on becoming a better person.