How to heal your inner child (yourself)
When I started working on my own psyche healing, it was impossible to pass first steps because it was too painful. I literally felt sick as soon as some inner retrospection kicked in. If I overdid it, I would slip into so much darkness I couldn’t recuperate for days. Inner work made my brain agitated very quickly which resulted in me withdrawing as the amount of pain was overwhelming.
Then I came across a meditation which deals with curing your inner child. Me being naturally curious I have decided I would also try this meditation, just like I’ve tried a lot of other things.
After making a relaxation technique (sitting in silence and just letting all the pressure and tension flow out through bottom parts of my body while slowly breathing) I started doing visualization of myself as a little girl. I saw myself playing in my family house front yard. Five-year-old me was playing blissfully unaware of me watching her. Then I approached her and started talking to her. She looked at me slightly surprised but willing to listen and talk. I said I am her friend and that she can feel completely safe and relaxed with me and that I would have never hurt her.
Then the trouble started…
She started withdrawing and I started feeling her pain. I asked how she felt. She said she felt sad and unhappy. I asked why she felt that way. Although she didn’t want to say much, she started saying how she felt like she was a very bad girl and that no one liked her because of it. Then she sat in my lap and I hugged her saying she can feel safe and that I loved her very much just the way she was.
In the next months of doing this meditation, all my childhood scars started opening. Little by little, every event that made a scar on me opened up through the talk with that little girl. I realized how much I felt unwanted, unaccepted and bad through my entire childhood. People who made me feel that way probably wouldn’t have done it if they had known any better. But as a kid you accept whatever someone serves you as the truth.
As the meditation progressed, my little me was realizing that it was not her fault and that she wasn’t bad. The way “they” acted toward her was just their “coping mechanism”. She started healing by realizing how she was just a little ordinary girl with nothing to feel bad about. The wounds started healing back.
My little me and I became good friends. It was a perfect symbiosis where we became each other’s anchors. But there was still one very important thing to do, and that was to forgive those who wounded us (me).
Forgiveness comes with realization of our abusers’ background. When we start broadening our understanding for each living creature, we stop the hate and start forgiving. Of course, you will not let anyone mistreat you in the present times when you are adult and know what is right and what is wrong.
I am talking about understanding why people act the way they do in general. And now when you are adult and put all pieces of the puzzle together realizing that we all have a background growing up and being wounded by someone else, you begin to develop understanding and forgive those who hurt you.
My little me and I had long conversations about what was happening to her. She talked about how she felt and I talked to her explaining why she felt bad and what really was the truth behind the events.
After few months of intensive meditation, I started feeling better. It was like I reprogrammed the events from my childhood to get the new meaning. I stopped feeling bad, unwanted and unworthy knowing that these feelings were developed in me because of someone’s mistreatment.
This is a very powerful meditation. Make sure you are consistent in the meditation to see any progress. So sit down and talk to your little you. Your little you awaits to be healed and only you can do that healing.