How to heal from childhood emotional abuse
Although not every child experiences the same level and type of emotional abuse and therefore consequences are not the same for everyone, there are still some similar or same outcomes to this type of growing up and it should be dealt so that a person can achieve a healthy and happy life.
I was dealing with my own frustrations and resentment for a long time. It was ruining my life and as an adult it was time to take the matter into my own hands.
So here is one excellent approach that helped me get over my childhood emotional abuse and heal.
“If they had known any better, they would have done it differently.”
This is a very powerful statement. When you start to contemplate on its meaning, you will see that it is actually liberating. Why? Because it says that each of us has their own experiences that shaped us into persons we are today. That means that our “emotional abusers“ are also people who are dealing with their own demons. If they weren’t a product of their own history, they would not do anything wrong.
I don’t say these persons are allowed to abuse anyone. What I am saying is that they should be understood and, if possible, pointed to their mistakes so that they can do something about it.
Let’s be honest, children can’t do much about emotional abuse by their parents or siblings. But as they grow up, they can transform themselves and it can be done only with understanding, acceptance and forgiveness.
I now know that my emotional hurt was a product of someone else’s emotional hurt and I feel sorry for what happened to me, but also to them.
It is a long-term process. You will not be able to get over and forgive anything over night. It takes time to have a deep truth penetrate your mind and settle down as the truth. But when it does happen, you will feel that you are no longer bitter or angry. Instead you will see the bigger picture. Your abusers are only poor, unhappy persons and you should feel sorry for them.
Letting go, accepting and forgiving
After contemplating thoroughly on the first statement and realizing that it is very much liberating, you will experience natural outcome – letting go of the hurt and pain caused by emotional abusers, acceptance that it happened because it could not be avoided and forgiveness to abusers, but also yourself.
Many times victims of the abuse tend to blame themselves for what happened to them. But after realizing that it really doesn’t have anything to do with them and that they are only a collateral damage in someone else’s war against themselves, they will see that there was nothing wrong with them.
This will enable the emotionally abused person to become free and peaceful.
Meditation for healing emotional abuse
The best way to experience emotional healing is to mediate on experience from childhood and then apply methods described here.
Meditation should be done in peace when you have time and won’t be disturbed. Sit down, relax and after you feel completely settled and peaceful, begin by remembering one painful childhood memory where you were abused. If you feel overwhelmed with past memories, try to pick some easier memory to begin working with. Always remember you are now safe and no one can abuse you anymore.
Try to remember as much details as possible: what words were used, how you felt, who was involved, etc. After the memory is invoked, now start observing the abuser. Was he happy in his childhood? Did he maybe have an abuser of his own? For sure he was not properly raised and educated or else he would never abuse you. He could not raise himself so again someone else was responsible for making him the abuser.
Keep in mind that you understand how you are not guilty for anything and that this abuse is the product of the abuser’s past.
Now try to accept that the person is unhappy and mistreated in his own childhood. Forgive your abuser and let the painful situation go. It was not your fault and it was not your abuser’s fault. You are both collateral victims of improper education and upbringing.
Release with love and accept with understanding. Only then you will be able to free yourself.